All My Yesterdays 5

I just can't seem to get it right today
I guess I'm gonna give up
Oh, I guess I'm gonna give up



I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.



What would you do if I got down
On my knees to you
Would you hold it against me,
Would you stand me in line?
What would you do if i
Opened my heart to you,
Would I be another who is wasting his time,
Darling are we just good friends?



How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
But I cant think of right words to say
I long to tell you that Im always thinking of you
Im always thinking of you, but my words
Just blow away, just blow away
It always ends up to one thing, honey
And I cant think of right words to say



I dunno. For so long I knew where the line was. We joked about crossing it but it was never more than that. Ever. And then she goes and just throws me for a total loop and I think maybe she was even serious and...I blew it.

I tried to tell her why...but I pretty well blew that too and now we'll likely never get back to the point we were.

And that really really sucks.....

All My Yesterdays 4

"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt."

"Measure for Measure", Act 1 scene 4
William Shakespeare

All My Yesterdays 3

I know...really I do.

I know that we'll never be a 'couple.'

I've accepted the fact that it looks like we won't even be friends.

Somewhere inside I've known that she's got someone else. But to hear it confirmed...and to find out who it is and to know that he's a total jerkwad loser that is nowhere near as good as she deserves.

It hurts. Makes me angry. Makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with the world when this idiot can end up with her.

I just don't get it.

I don't.

I mean, how on earth can Sandra Bullock be married to Jesse James?

All My Yesterdays 2

"Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable.

It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

You give them a piece of you.

They didn't ask for it.

They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages.

It gets inside you.

It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts.

Not just in the imagination.

Not just in the mind.

It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.


I hate love."

By Neil Gaiman, Sandman #65

All My Yesterdays 1

So right it hurts:

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."
- DragonflyBlade21 (lifted from http://www.bash.org)